Unemployed dad’s Weblog

December 13, 2008

4 Fantastic Recession Proof Career Sectors

Filed under: Articles, funny, humor, unemployed, unemployment — Tags: , , , , , — Michael @ 4:41 pm

4 fantastic recession proof career sectors

 

A radical shift in the economic landscape has left many skilled workers unable to continue in their chosen professions.  Though it’s not all doom and gloom, according to Andrew Hopernick, chief economist at the Massachusetts based think tank, C.O.R.E. – the Center for Optimal Resource Econometrics.  “With every cycle correction like the one we are experiencing, there will be a shift in the capital and labor pool from traditional industries to others that thrive in troubled economic waters.”  Hopernick sees a big upswing in the following four sectors and career markets in the coming months ahead.

 

  1. Downward trend graphs – Al Grabowski, owner of “Al’s Charts and Graph’s” has seen a significant change in demand for his products over the past few months.  “A few years ago” he says, pointing to an assortment of graphs all with jaggy lines that generally point downward in relation to time “I couldn’t give these things away.  Now they are my bestsellers, whether it’s the “Missouri Purchasing Index” or “How much are you spending on Christmas this year” for USA today, the demand for downward trend graphs has gone through the roof.”
  2. “I told you so” guy – “I predicted this thing since the last recession” says local “I told you so guy” Rob Wentworth.  “I went through a lot of lean years, waiting for this to happen, just getting by on I told you so’s if a Dallas Cowboy got in trouble, or waiting to the last minute and declaring “Obama’s going to win”, but with things the way they are, its my time to shine.”  Experts share Wentworth’s opinion, “With the headlines dominated by worsening economic conditions, people like Wentworth are in a prime position to flourish” according to news pundit Heather Jensen.
  3. Verb creators for “slash, cut and trim” – “I am so over picking up a newspaper and seeing so and so cuts 1,100 jobs, XYZ slashes 5,000 workers and so on” says college student Madison Firestone, “When are they are going to come up with some new words?”  Firestone is not alone in her complaint.  “Whoever comes up with the lay off equivalent of, say, punked, will clean up.  Hey, that’s not bad, GE punks 62,000 workers.  It’s not as good as bromance, but it still works.  Don’t use it, its mine” adds Hopernick.
  4. Mooch – Years of economic expansion almost eradicated this time honored profession.  “As we approached full employment, it created a labor market where just about anybody who could fog a mirror could get a job” asserts Hopernick.  This created a void for mooch’s who had a tough time in the past few years convincing their friends that they couldn’t go out for drinks unless someone else paid.  “Those days are over, and though time may have eroded their skills, they should quickly adapt to the changing conditions” Hopenick adds.  “I agree” says local mooch Kenny Beuregard, “It’s like riding a bike you borrowed from your neighbor.”

 

Through re-training and a strategic approach, Hopernick is very optimistic that many opportunities are out there for those who are willing to work at it.

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